But as cold as it has been here lately, I've needed my hay to help me keep warm. Don't get me wrong. I have not become a bully. I haven't become the "alpha horse" either. I don't push the other horses around. But I do stand my ground. When Goomba comes over to try to finish up my grain, I stand my ground. I don't move away like I used to. I flick an ear at him to tell him to back off, and he stands there patiently until I'm done. Then he checks my food bowl for a stray morsel or two.
When one of the other horses tries to muscle me away from some hay I’m eating, I stand my ground by picking up my back hoof and flattening my ears a bit. I may shake my head to let him know to back off. I don't pin my ears and bare my teeth—that is too intense a reaction, and not necessary.
I don't get violent. I don't start a fight. I hold my ground and stand up for myself. This is a lesson I've learned. The others used to be able to move me around and bully me. (Not Ginger, she's the lowest in our pecking order—she still allows all the boys to push her around).
I communicate my intention to stand up for myself and notice that Goomba and Preacher don't even try to bully me as often. My human, Linda Pucci says I'm "enforcing my boundaries"—whatever that means. All I know is that I am standing up for myself and I like the results.
I think if humans stood up for themselves when things are important to them, they might be a whole lot happier too. It isn't that hard. It doesn't require you to become a bully. You just assert yourself, and make it clear with your body language that you won't tolerate being pushed around. I know, it sounds difficult, but it really isn't. It just takes a decision to do it, and you get better the more you practice it. I know. I've done it.
Neighs and Whinnies,
Shade
P.S. If you need help standing up for yourself without getting angry or overdoing it, my human, Linda Pucci can probably help. She's been teaching people to stand up for themselves for over 30 years. Call her at 865-983-7544 and talk to her about your situation. You can also check out the other things she does at http://www.InnerResourceCenter.com or at http://www.ResourcesWithHorses.com .
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